matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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