South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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