CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
