that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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