just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
