dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
