I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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