She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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