So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
