I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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