made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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