Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she peed on how many people?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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