Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
