Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
