that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
