Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
