Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
