I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
