I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
