so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
