you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
