fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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