I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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