i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
