You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
