Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
