College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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