hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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