i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It's official drugs can't kill me
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
