the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
