i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
