can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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