wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just blew my weed a kiss
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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