I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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