Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
