I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
