i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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