Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize
