matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
