dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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