my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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