Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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