I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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