My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm like, not good at living.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
