Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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