Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I am naked and annoyed.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
