Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
