I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
