Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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