He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize