What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
