I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize