You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
