very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
