Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
