Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
