sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
