If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize