eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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